Phillip and Rebecca Mefford

A memory from warmer days-- evening picnics. Once dinner has settled in for digestion we are done for the day. Sometime after 8pm we start what has affectionately come to be known as “watching time.” Lincoln gets to pick the first cartoon, Hudson gets to pick the second one, and then it’s time for bed. Lincoln is usually asleep before the end of the second one. We have started our own “watching time” too, with a Turkish romantic-comedy TV series that we watch online. Turkish TV shows are generally two hours per episode, plus commercials, so watching a little bit of an episode here and there has become more practical for our lives, especially with frequent breaks for snack-giving, teeth brushing, and “get back in bed”ing. However, just when we are ready to veg, our neighbors are starting to party. In the summer time this is when weddings begin, in the colder seasons people convene in homes for tea and conversation. No matter how tired we feel, no matter how muc

Last spring, for our 7th anniversary date. The call to prayer for the akşam namaz , the evening Muslim prayer, happens at sunset. This is the cue to herd the children home and start preparing dinner. By now Phillip has finished his work at the university, made a stop at the grocery store, and come home. Dad and Mom are starving and our kids, while not ready for bedtime, are too worn out to eat. Sofia uncannily wants to nurse just when it is time to cook dinner, but Phillip is a capable chef. He dawns an apron, closes the shades so the neighbors don’t see him doing housework, and begins cooking. Rebecca sits on a folding chair in the kitchen and nurses Sofia while she and Phillip chat about their day. When Sofia is done she jumps in as “sous chef” to help. It is not the status-quo in Turkey for the husband to do housework or cook meals—thus the closing of the shades. As a general rule, men work hard and long at work, and relax at home. The separation of spheres is a reality and

To think that even three months ago, when this photo was taken, our little lady hadn't even taken her first step. They grow so fast! Saat dördü yirmi geçiyor , twenty past four o’clock, seems to be Lincoln and Hudson’s prime time for dinner—if they have not stuffed themselves with cake at ikindi çay (afternoon tea and snacks) . If we are organized enough Rebecca prepares something for them to eat. Then if the weather is decent, she takes them to the large park in our neighborhood until it’s time to make real dinner. One of the reasons we love the neighborhood we have settled into is the parks. There are lots of children’s parks. There are also a couple different cemeteries which add to the greenery. Sometimes we go on “nature walks” in the cemetery, keeping a lookout for turtles and drinking from the water fountains scattered throughout the grounds. The little park on the corner is convenient to quickly get some energy out. But “the big park” is where we meet with frien